Hi Church!
Do you know someone who is gay? I know you do. The “million dollar” question is is why are some people gay? Were they born that way? Did they choose it? Were they seduced into it? I have done a fair amount of research and study on homosexuality. I have read many books and articles on the topic. And I think there are many reasons why people are gay. But I think I know what the most common and original reason is for most: they want to be loved. And they find it, or they are pursued by someone of the same sex. Do you have a few minutes for a story…
We held youth outings for 7th-12tth grade students on Friday night at the People’s Church in Potter Brook, Pa. where I pastored from 1995-2006. It was a VERY small town of about 300 people. One of the 10th grade students who came was a girl named Rose. But you would not know that she was a girl by the way that she dressed, or the way she played football! She was a force! Most of the time her ball cap, jeans and sweatshirts covered up her distinct womanly figure. There were a few Friday’s nights when I wasn’t sure who she was. It seemed obvious to me that she was trying to hide more than her figure. She was even trying to hide her face.
Another student who came was Billy. By the time I met him he was in the 10 or 11th grade, and he was a big kid. Nearly 6′ and a good 175lbs. Billy was a hard-nose kid. Brash, rude and crude. I knew that he came from a rough family. You could see his house from the church, it was only a block away. I don’t know all of Billy’s story but I do know that his mom had a lot of boyfriends coming and going. There was a different car or truck at her house every few months or so. Billy and Rose always walked to and from our youth outings together. They acted like friends when I saw them together.
One summer day I went home for lunch, as was my custom, the parsonage was only around the corner from the church. I accidentally left the back door of the church, which also served as the entrance door to my office, unlocked. I wasn’t away long for lunch that day. That was of God. When I opened the door to my office I was in utter shock. There was Billy sitting in my office chair having phone sex. And let me just say that it was the worst possible time to walk in. It was messy. Billy quickly pulled up his pants and ran out the front door of the church. Wow. Can you imagine? It is hard to forget something like that.
After some investigation and the phone bill came in the mail, we found out that he had done this another time just a few days before. He had run up a two hundred dollar phone bill. I also began to figure out that Billy and Rose were more than “friends”. And it was not a “mutual” love. Billy was abusing and raping Rose regularly. Although I did not get a confession and could not prove it, I am confident that Billy raped another neighbor. He was a neighbor boy who was three years younger and much smaller than Billy. Billy had become a sexual maniac and had caused a lot of heartache for many people… maybe you can relate to a story like this…?
But the reason I tell the story is because of what happened a few years later. Rose, and what was a very broken-up family, no father, moved out of town soon after all of this. About two years went by, and “out of the blue” I got a call at the church from Rose. She wanted to know if we were still having our Friday night meetings. I said, “yes we are!” I wasn’t expecting what I saw that night.
When Rose walked in, I did not recognize her. Her long black hair was all beautifully combed out and not covered up by a ball cap. She was wearing make-up. She had on nice stylish girl clothes. She looked beautiful! She really did! I could not believe my eyes. I knew it was her but I wondered what had happened to her?
During our sit down discussion time, I asked Rose if she wanted to tell us how she was doing and what was going on in her life. Immediately, she said with a big smile, “yes”. And the next thing she said was “I found someone who really loves me”. She felt loved like never before. I believe that. Roses’ life had been filled with abuse and neglect. She then told us she was in a relationship with an older woman, who loved her. It was an eye opening moment for me.
Why do I tell you that story? For several reasons. But first let me assure you that it is not okay to be in a romantic, love or marriage relationship with someone of the same sex. It is not. It never has been and it never will be. It is not okay for many reasons but most importantly because God says it is not okay. So regardless of the reasons why someone may have same sex desires/attractions, it does not make it right. The gay issue is not a gray issue.
As we prepare to wrap up our series S-E-X on Sunday, we are going to look at the topic of homosexuality. Of all the messages, this is one of the hardest and most controversial. I know that. So please be praying for me and the message. That is one reason I am sending this email one day early. I want you to be thinking and praying about it.
14 years ago I did a 4 part series on homosexuality. A lot has happened since then. And, with all that is happening in the state of Florida right now, it is a critical time to talk about it. Know this, this is not a message of hate. Not at all. I know and have had gay people attend my churches. Yep. They are people that God loves too. So this is a message filled with love and truth. I trust it is what Jesus would say if he were standing here in my shoes. My goal is to be his voice on this sensitive subject.
In God’s Good Grip,
Pastor Mike